Being married to an accountant turned financial planner, and having my father own his company as a financial planner, it's been inevitable that I would pick up a few phases and words from their world. One that struck me today was "does the cost outweigh the benefits" or "is this cost effective?" Or something along those lines. For example, the price for a 5 minute shower is pricey and I have yet to decide if it is cost effective when inevitably one of the kids ends up crying (usually Bryce because Carter pushes him), something spills, or death defying stunts are being performed. But this morning I HAD to shower. Had to. It had been 2 days and I had to go teach and it was time. My time. My 5 stinkin, lousy minutes filled with worry amongst the soap, shampoo and conditioner. Thinking I'm smart to leave the boys eating their cereal, I run upstairs quick as can be and hop in the shower. About 2 minutes in Bryce come in, pulls back the curtain crying. I ask him what is wrong and he says, "Ta-daw me!" (AKA Carter pushed or hit or pinched me). I yell for Carter to get upstairs and come talk to me. I hear yelling back. I yell, "I can't hear you! I'm in the shower! Come in here so I can talk to you!" Meanwhile hurrying to get out the shampoo and trying to comfort Bryce while keeping the water in the shower, not all over the floor. More yelling from downstairs from a strong willed four year old who wants to plead his case. I yell again, "you've got 10 seconds..." I begin counting and on 8 Carter is in the bathroom as well on the other side of the curtain. I ask him what happens and he confesses that he wanted Bryce to hurry and eat and stop talking so he wouldn't be late for school. Bryce kept on talking so Carter pinched his cheeks. I thank Carter for telling me the truth and send him to his room for 5 minutes because if he can't help keep our family safe, he needs to be alone until he calms down and thinks about what he can do differently next time. Of course there is whining and screaming "my cereal will get soggy" and the likes. By now I've conditioned and rinsed. I turn off the water. Bryce has left the bathroom. I call for him to go read books in his room or finish eating. I get the towel, dress quickly and should have known it was too quiet. The advent calender is now a few days short of chocolates and I see him feeding sheepie one. There is also a bag of chips he is eating that is leaving orange dust on my carpet. How can so much go so wrong so soon???
I clean up that mess to come downstairs to spilled OJ on the table and floor. I clean that up, go upstairs and Bryce is now eating toothpaste. Carter yelling, "has it been five minutes?" The phone rings. I ignore it. Bryce is crying because his mean mom won't let him eat toothpaste, chips and more chocolate. I almost start crying. I've been up since 5:30am with Bryce, there is a mess, and Carter is going to be late for school which means I'll be late to drop off Bryce and late to teach my class. Was the shower really worth it? Did the cost of my shower outweigh the benefits? To be determined...
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4 comments:
Okay, do you want to know the part where I sit in my computer chair and laugh a big chuckle?? Carter's reaction to Bryce not eating faster. So......he just pinched his cheeks. Random place to pinch and why doesn't he punch him?? Or slap him?? Why does he pinch him.....and on the cheeks?? That just cracks me up!
And the rain saga..........my word, you should write a morning column. You have such a funny way of telling the story. I guess it's how the story goes......but gosh you make me smile!!
I recommend the TV--works wonders at my house :)
Ok, to answer the above, the cheeks I think are the new target because his body is off limits due to the broken arm and all. And, have you seen this kids cheeks? They are just begging to be pinched anyways.:
As for the TV, I've tried that and that hasn't worked either. Someone ends up changing the channel, turning off the TV, or loose interest.
Crack me up does not do justice to this saga of having just two little angels! You should make it two more girls and they can pick on the girls rather than each other. Oh, the woes of a young mother, but you love most minutes of it -- huh??
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