Panic mode

So, I rarely panic. Actually, I usually work best under pressure. In fact, can't remember the last time I did. Might have been while giving birth to Carter... or Bryce... or Aubryn. Ok, so giving birth sometimes puts me in panic mode with the feelings of "how the heck am I going to live through this?!" Other than that... I'm mostly panic free. Even when Bryce at 2 yrs old... and I mean a brand new 2 yrs old broke his arm, and needed surgery and 3 pins to fix it, I didn't panic. Broken hearted and pain in my gut for days before, during and after the procedure, yes, but panic no.
Today, I panicked.
During Sacrament meeting at church, I had Aubryn on my lap and gave her an apple slice- peeled to munch on. She has done this a handful of times at the house and does a good job just nibbling off little bits, chewing with her 8 front teeth and swallowing. It has been a while, and she must have been rusty because she forgot the chewing AND swallowing part. Instead, she choked. I'm not talking about a cough it up choke or scrapes on it's way down. I'm talking about a no cough, no cry, awful gasp type sound, no air getting in or out of her airway type choke. I couldn't believe this was happening. I didn't want to overreact... or panic, so I observed a bit, then when it didn't resolve itself and heard the "choke" sound I did a softer abdominal thrust above her naval. Twice. Smacked her on the back. Twice. Nothing... more "choke" sounds. Awful gasping for breath sounds. My mom who is also CPR certified and was an EMT and also broke my dad's ribs while saving his life doing CPR was sitting next to me. I turned to her, said, "mom!" and she took her over her lap and smacked her back. Twice. Nothing. She stood up (I might have first) and tried once more, before going out in the hallway to try again. Once or twice more and she was crying. A kind man in our ward(Dr) was coming down the hall b/c he saw what was happening. Well, everyone did actually. The pew we sit on happens to be the front row. So, out go mom and I, followed by Brady, followed by our two boys. Everyone afterwards told me it sounded like the whole congregation breathed a collective sigh of relief once they heard crying from the hallway. Other than a baby bring first born, crying never sounded so sweet.
(Super Grandma)









It took her a while to get calmed down... and me too. Didn't realize it until I was rocking her in my arms, wiping her tears and soothing her with my voice that I was shaking and couldn't really feel my fingers. I have to say for the rest of the day, I hugged and kissed and cuddled her a little more. My sweet precious angel, I'm so glad you are safe and you have angels watching over you- including your grandma Petersen.



(ice cream makes everything better??)