So it's official... I am the best mother ever. I had my reasons to think so before, but after this morning, it's officially official.
Started out great- Bryce had a playdate, Aubryn toddling around the house, me getting ready to go and cleaning up some dishes. I agreed to sub a pilates class in Layhill and Bryce and his friend were having fun together so I thought no problem to have him tag along too and they could continue playing at the gym's childcare playroom... which should actually be called the gyms tv room since that's how they decide to entertain the kids while you exercise (or in my case teach) which I think is SO great- esp. when it's shows I don't approve of and if you request the tv be turned off, it's not fair to the toddler already watching it. Boo-hoo. But that is a whole other story for another time.
Anyways, Aubryn does not like to be separated from me- at all. Not even to daddy sometimes. So, it came as no surprise when she started becoming frantic and crying when I hugged and kissed her and said good-bye. What did surprise me however is when I could STILL hear her from my class 20 minutes later. About 10 min. into the class I shut the door which usually stays open b/c it was so hard to focus hearing her is so much distress. "Does she have her binky?" "Is someone even holding her?" "Would the class mind too terribly if there is a baby on my hip while I teach?" "Do they have any idea of what they are doing in there or are they too busy changing channels and putting in another movie for the whole 5 kids in there?" (ok, so when I get stressed, I tend to get sarcastic).
So, at 20+ min. the childcare workers had had enough and just not able to console her, they come into my pilates class to tell me that I need to just take her back and my workout is done. The girls face was priceless when she saw that I was not a student but the teacher and could not simply come take her. Believe me I wanted to! This was so not worth the extra little money!
The girl says, "you're the teacher??" I ask if she has tried the binky. Reply: "there's a binky? where?" My reply: "the same place I told you it was 20 minutes ago when I dropped her off!" (but only in my head). Out loud I told her (again) where it was and off she went. Things got a little better from there. I could hear her cry off and on the rest of the time in equal proportions. The class was over 10 minutes early.
After that (and this is where the best mother ever part comes in) I took the kids to the McDonalds right next to the gym b/c it has a huge outdoor play place. Bryce always begs to play and eat there when we pass and I always tell him when the weather gets warmer. Today, the weather is warmer. We got some food and got ready to play. With my brain not being what it used to and after the stress of the baby screaming for 50 minutes, I brought the food outside and let the kids eat AND play. Bad mistake. Eat THEN play or play THEN eat. Either one is fine. What I did... not so much. The kids nibbled a bit here and there, Aubryn spilled some things and then the big shake I got us all to share spilled and the staff was none to happy about it. Sigh. Still, not a big deal. Overall the kids were having fun. I realized my mistake, had them sit and eat, and then play. All was well for about 20 minutes and Aubryn even had fun playing in the structures. She loved it -and the french fry I gave her- (1st and possibly last).
Time to go. Always the highlight of any event. Getting kids to get on shoes, jackets and getting in the car. Other than putting kids to bed, this has to be one of the least fun things to do... and WHY is it always so dog on hard?!? (deep breaths). Anyways, I even prepared with a 5 min. warning followed by the 1 min. warning which happened to be perfect timing b/c Aubryn fell off the last step and smacked the back of her head on the ground of course resulting in more crying and screaming for the day although I swear she's met her daily quota.
"Time to go!" I call up to Bryce in the structure. I wait b/c I know it's big and give him the benefit of the doubt looking for the exit or a slide to take him down as he is anxiously wanting to be obedient. I wait a little longer..... Now I'm done waiting. "Bryce! Time to go... where are you?" "Up here at the top of the slide!" "Ok, come one down it's time to go." "No. I want to stay here all day long." Few little words make my blood boil, but "no" from my kids is definitely one of them. "Bryce, come down here right now." No response. Now my blood is really boiling b/c few things other than a few little words make my blood boil and being ignored by my kids is one of them. I say, "Bryce come out right now or you will go on time out when we get home. You have 3 seconds. One... two.... three." Nothing. "Ok Bryce, now you are going to go on time out as soon as we get home. And keep in mind that I am not the only one at this play place. Other children are watching as our their parents and grandparents at my failed attempts to get my 4 yr old to obey me. And I am very aware of them watching and listening to me. Especially since one lady tells her kids they are not allowed to go up the slide b/c "this mommy" is trying to get her son to come down. And yes, Aubryn is still crying. "Bryce, every minute you make me wait is another minute I add to your time out." This is effective as he doesn't even understand the concept of time. Yes, I am awesome. (sarcasm again). Oh, and everything I say is extra loud since I'm saying it up a long twisty slide that echos all too well. And yes, I realize I am having a full blown conversation with myself since I'm the only one talking and I see his shadow at the top of the slide laying at the top waving his legs in the air with no intention of coming down. I half jokingly say to the spectators in the area, "I wonder if I should go up there and pull that little stinker out." One lady says, "you'll get stuck" and another says, "I'll hold your baby." She is probably the same lady keeping her kids out of the slide on account of mine. Screaming fit number two by the baby as I pass her off to a stranger. She looked nice and I'm sure her kids were in there so she can't possibly be a bad person and kidnap my baby right??" Yes, again... I'm awesome. I start to climb up the stupid brightly colored play structure that is very tall and of course he is at the very top. I try once more, "Bryce, if you don't come out in 5 seconds, I'm coming up there and pulling you out." One... two... three.... thank heavens I hear him coming down the twisty slide- barely though since Aubryn is breaking down for the second time that morning. I turn around to get her and realize she had been passed off to another lady. Oh well, the first one was a stranger anyways, what's one more... awesome. I have a little firm talking to with bryce, something about not coming back and how I was not happy, etc grabbed Aubryn and my purse holding firmly onto Bryces hand, and walked through the door (being held open for me by another stranger) and left with absolutely no dignity in tact.
Is it nap time yet?