We had a great night tonight over at the Petersens house. My mom gave me an Elsa doll with a very touching note I will cherish forever admonishing me to "let it go" meaning the past pains and hurt I've endured. It will forever be symbolic to me. Especailly since I've been online and looked at prices which are a bit crazy right now. 50.00 bucks for a doll or more. And this Elsa is the perfect one with the glittery dress and all. :) Yes, I'm a kid at heart. But more than the love I have for the movie and music and joy it brings me seeing and hearing my daughter dance and sing to the songs, I love the thought, the gift, note and message the doll and note are expressing to me. It's time I "let it go." And I think like forgiveness it is a process. At times I feel like I've completely forgiven those who have let me down, hurt or betrayed me, and other times (although rare) those emotions are at the very surface threatening to to bring me down to the depths with them. I know how strong I am and what I've endured and learned from, however, those moments of pain are real. And I feel like that little girl, or that teenager, or young adult that was alone, neglected and forgotten.
I am not her. She is not me. The future is mine and it is bright. I have so much to be grateful for. My family that I've created with a sweet husband. For the smiles, the laughs, the sweet and tender moments of hearing them sing primary songs or bear their testimony either over the pulpit or in private with me. Watching them master something they've been working on and holding them through the tears... it's all beautiful and it's mine.
All the cousins sang and danced to all the "Frozen" songs tonight (ok and me too), and we had a great time. Family is such a wonderful blessing and having us all close to create memories like that even if it is just for this year is amazing.
Carter and Emma acted out the parts and Eliza and I sang different parts. Aubryn did it all. lol. She is a little ray of sunshine. She danced around with my doll and sang her little heart out. It was a beautiful thing.
I feel fiercly protective of my children, especially my little girl. I fully expect them to all have struggles and insecurities and stumble and fall. That is part of life and although not looking forward to that, know that is how they will learn and grow and become the people and adults God intends them to be. Withough trials, none of us can grow and progress. What I am refering to is protecting them from others around them who put their interests above those of my children. Who might use and abuse. Who won't treat them as the treasures they are. I wish I could protect them from these people. From the world at times. It really does take faith to raise children in this day and age with so much wickedness.
My desire for them is to hold fast to the knowledge that they are literally princes and a princess. As they are direct desendants of God, the Almighty, our King. They are His children and He knows each one of them. Their likes and dislikes, their strengths and weaknesses, their joys and hurts. And He just loves. He created our spirits and is rooting for us to make correct choices so we can return to live with Him and our families forever in joy.
Family brings joy. And tonight mine is full.
I live in MD with my wonderful husband of ten years and my three sweet children. Carter is 7 and Bryson (Bryce) is 5. Little miss Auryn is 21 months. I am a stay at home mom, other than teaching pilates a couple times a week. I graduated in May 2008 with my masters degree in social work- ya-hoo!