Back to School!

Yes this post is very late.... but hey, it's the story of my life at this point I suppose. :)
Carter is entering the second grade and has Mrs. Titheringon which I could not be happier about. She is a sweet older woman who (as rumor has it) is a little disorganized but is sweet and loves teaching and the children. She also reportedly doesn't yell which is always a plus and will be a change from his teacher last year, Mrs. Fite. Don't get me wrong, she is a lovely woman, but could and did get overwhelmed quite a bit. Not that I totally blame her. With 28 young children in one small classroom... enough to make anyone a bit nuts.




Anyways, Carter has been enjoying getting to school on his scooter and sometimes to mix things up, his 2-wheeler. He convinced Bryce to ride along with him and I drive by slowly in the van. When we reach the corner just before the crossing guard, we say good-bye to Carter and Bryce hops in the van to head off to preschool.



We are at a new preschool this year with Bryce trying to un-do some of the damage done last year. He did not have a good experience and more than once I left him crying after I pried his arms from around my neck or leg. Broke my heart! I am not sure if it was the kids, the teachers, the huge age gap (not quite 3 yr olds- Bryce at 4 in Sept after a week of school... which is crazy btw...), but it was not a good combination which is so sad to me b/c preschool is a time to be excited about learning. To have a positive experience your first time away from home and it just did not happen at Ashton Christian Preschool.







So this year, we are back at Creative Learning Center where Carter used to go. I have full confidence in the teachers Mrs. Pascoe, and Mrs. Splain as they were Carter's teachers when he went there. Also the director is awesome as well. It felt warmer and "safer."




So far, so good. Most of our mornings have been "I don't want to go to school, I want to stay home with you," but there have been no tears or tantrums. He always seems happy when I pick him up. So I am hopeful that through positive repetition, he will continue to be more confident and comfortable away from home and meeting new friends and trying new things.
I do miss them though, and I know Aubryn does too. She walks around the house after dropping off Bryce (b/c she is used to him being home with her while Carter was at school last year), "Biish.... we-ah-oo? Hmmmm...." with her little hand palm up and a confused face with crinkled brows. It's cute... and sad. But it'll give us time to bond just us girls. :)

Intertwined

I find it interesting how inter-twined the hearts of parents- mothers more specifically can be with their children. My heart is hurting right now for Carter as he struggles in school. He LOVES to read and is "above grade level" in reading (and why again are we labeling and categorizing our children?!) but seems to struggle with math and writing.
Other parents I hear saying how easy this and that is in school and how their child is not being challenged, and they are bored... and it makes me feel angry and protective. Boo hoo if your child is not being challenged enough. So what? Challenge them at home, give them more assignments after their homework is completed and teach them yourselves wherever their level might be. For others who are barely getting certain concepts and take so long to do homework and correct it in between the tears or frustration and calling himself stupid and hitting himself in the head and face b/c his brain is not smart feels like it is killing me. It hurts so badly to see your child hurting and suffering so much. I just hold him while he cries and we try again when he is ready. We take breaks if he gets too overwhelmed and he goes and reads on the couch. He loves to read which is such a blessing. We talk about how faith without works is dead and we can't just pray to get better, but need to practice and work at it as well. I hate the curriculum of "below grade level" or "above grade level" or heaven forbid, just "average." Why must we live in such a competitive world where everyone compares themselves to others to get a sense of self, a sense of worth. Why can't we know that we are enough just because we are children of God, we are children or our parents, and good, kind, loving people??? I hate it. I wish his class size was smaller b/c 28 is just ridiculous for more individualized attention. I wish I could go in and help out more and feel so guilty that I can't because I have two young ones at home. I want him to know how important and special he is and who cares what so and so is learning and can do... if you improve then you should be proud of yourself... I know I am. I couldn't stop the tears tonight after back to school night thinking about how insecure he feels about his spelling. Who cares really....? I am a horrible speller. That's why there is spell check- if I ever even chose to use it. The doesn't mean I'm not smart. I graduated at the top of my class both with my BS and in graduate school and that was with two children! Carter, you are so much smarter than you think and what the world might see as "smart" is actually not always right. Just keep learning. I hate to see his desire and curiosity and love for learning be impacted by his perfection. May the Lord heal both our hearts tonight.